What would you tell your younger self?

Do you ever think of the things you used to stress about as a teen and now realize how silly they are? Do you wish you could go back and tell your younger self to shut it?

For example... I had this friend. She was OBSESSED with another friend of ours.. a boy.. She used to start fights if anyone talked to him or.. gasp.. kissed him. But, he just wasn't into her. However, they were good friends and they reconnected a bunch of years ago. Well now, 11 years after we graduated.. They are getting married this fall. I wish I could go back to her high school self and say, "Relax, you are going to marry the guy!"

For me... I started my period very late. Like about 16 years old.

Which is so weird because my RE told me my FSH levels were a bit borderline and my clock was ticking. When I told him I got my period so late, he was puzzled. He said I may just have a very short fertile period.. But, anyway, I digress. :(

So what goes along with having a late period?? Late breast development. I was in a training bra in 9th grade!!! I can remember this mean boy, Greg. He sat next to me in band. One day he goes, "Why do you wear bra when you have no boobs?". I was so upset. I was a catholic school girl who transferred to public school in 9th grade. I knew no one, was so down on my self and he pointed out my worst flaw. sniff sniff. I ran into him a few years ago and he was being all nice to me. I had a few beers in me and I told him off. He didn't remember it but, he goes, " I realize now what a jerk I was. So many peole have told me off for stupid and hurtful things I have said and I am really sorry." LOL.. So I got my closure.. sorry digressing again!

So I finally get my period, in church.. yuck. And the boobs came slowly. However I can remember sitting on my Mom's lap in the bathroom , many times, crying and sobbing, "What if I never get boobs? I can't be this flat chested my entire life." My Mom would say, "So what if you are? Is it going to make you less of a woman?". (well no, Mom, but, boys like boobs) (another aside, My friend from high school who wears an A cup is doing well in Hollywood now and every guy on earth thinks she is beautiful. So I guess boobs aren't everything! I might tell my teenaged self that. But, she stole my boyfriend in high school and that just might make my teenaged self angry).

I can remember making out with a boy in high school and we were at around... 2nd base. ;) He was feeling up my shoulder something crazy.. then I realized.. he thought my shoulder was my boob. I said, "That's my shoulder..". He started laughing and I was a good sport about my tiny boobs at this point. But, still.. I was embarrassed. I used to wear A LOT of padding back then! Victoria's Secret was my friend! LOL.

So, imagine my amazement, when sophomore year of college, I grew boobs!! Real boobs! I was up to a 34 D and I was a petite girl!! Who knew. And they were quite perky and beautiful, I might add!

I went to the bra store to get professionally measured this past weekend because, my current bras were cutting of my circulation. Guess what? I am a 36DD!!! (Granted they are nasty, resting on my belly, and covered in stretch marks) But still a 36DD!!!

So what would I tell my teenaged self? "Relax, you will grow boobs, big ones! You may be almost 30 when it happens but, it will happen!! And maybe, you would like them so much then!"

What would you tell your teenaged self? ( I think a lot of us "IF'ers" would tell ourselves to stop wasting money on birth control, No?)

I am a pregnancy cliche!!

Okay.. so it's not pickles and ice cream but, I am sitting her quite happily eating Kalamata olives and hot chocolate with marshmallows. And it's sooo goooooood!!!!!!

Anyone else have weird cravings... Pregnant or not?

It is not OKAY to call a pregnant woman fat!!!!

Grrr.... I was a New Years party last night and I told my friends brother and his loudmouth wife that I was preggers. His wife's brother happens to be married to a girl I went to high school with... beautiful.. blond... the whole deal. She apparently is due a month before me. So douchebag guy goes, "Yeah Bethanne is due a month before you but, she is not as big as you are"...



Umm yeah...

Don't call me fat please?

My BFF was there and she was appalled for me. I just didn't really say anything and laughed it off. She couldn't understand why... but, here's why... I hear that almost EVERY SINGLE DAY! Every day some moron tells me how big I am, how I look way bigger than I should, how they can't believe that's only 11 pounds, how I should just prepare myself now because even I don't gain the pounds, I am going to look HUUUUUGEEE! (and yes.. those morons include my dear mother.. who I love more than life itself.. but, "come one Mom!")

I'm 5 foot tall and freaking pregnant people!! Where do you expect the weight to go? I am really trying hard to not have body image issues and embrace the weight gain.. but, it makes it very hard when people call you fat every single day!!! My midwife tells me that I am have gained the perfect amount of weight. So there!!!! Back off people...

P.S. I think it's funny that I didn't get all fired up about this until my bff suggested that I should be! LOL

Hey there!

I haven't posted in a while. I hope everyone had a lovely holiday and all.

We had a very nice Christmas and went on a BIG family ski trip to Vermont this past week. The weather did not cooperate and we had 65 degrees and rain. Not the best for skiing. My Mom's cousin is a ski instructor and he did convince me to get on the slopes for one day. I only did two runs however. The slopes were lumpy and REALLY icy from the rain. There were only a few trails open, since everything was on rapid melt and that meant major crowding on the slopes that were open. I just didn't feel safe. And since we had been to that mountain last year, I was a little frustrated since I knew I could handle the trails we were on. But, my nerves got the best of me and I was skiing like a beginner. I decided that it wasn't a safe situation.

I think that was all for the best.

Anyway, not much to report on the baby front. I still haven't decided if the taps and bumps I was/am feeling are the baby or gas??? I feel kind of silly about that. But, I saw the midwife today and she assured me I should be feeling something more definitive in the next few weeks.

DH got some not so good news today. He has been dealing with very high Cholesterol and triglycerides for a few years. But, when we started dealing with Male Factor fertility issues.. he went off the meds for a while. I truly believe this helped. His counts and stuff got much better. But..... His cholesterol did not. He was treating it naturally. He went to get his blood drawn... and we got quite a talking to from the doctor.

So, he is starting a very strict diet, two different medications, some exercises, and we are going to a nutritionist/ chiropractor/ crazy hippie tomorrow for some advice. I am so much more worried about it now that we have a baby on the way, as is he. So, that actually helps because, he is more motivated this time around to really change his junk food lifestyle.

Here is a 17 week picture. I really need to take an 18 week one tonight!
I

Quickening... Or gas?

So, the past few days I am feeling something on the left side, slightly below the belly button (or what's left of it). That is right were the midwife heard the heartbeat recently. I am not sure if it is the baby... or gas. I really hope I am not confusing my child with a fart. I am quite sure that would be bad parenting.

It kind of feels like.. well.. a twitch (like when your eye twitches). I notice it when I am laying down. But, last night, It was more like a tickly flutter, when I was standing up. It was when I was talking to Stephen on the phone. So that was cute.

SO my question is...... What does quickening feel like? When did you feel it? Is it too soon for me?
I also called my midwife last night. I was all upset. I had convinced myself that I had a UTI. But, she thinks I am wrong. Of course, we are going to keep and eye on it.. but, she thinks I am experiencing round ligament pain. I thought I was too early.. but honestly my bump is so huge.. I guess not. She says, It's associate with "overdoing" it. And let me tell you folks... it has been one hell of a week. So I guess it is safe to say that I may have overdone it. Her prescription.. Make Stephen take good care of me and slow down a little.

I am up about 6-7 pounds at 15 weeks. I am clearly pregnant and my students have started stopping in their tracks and shouting, "Mrs. F., you got a belly! You pregnant or something?". Clearly I have a lot of work to do on their grammar. Here is a 14 week, 6 day belly shot.

Okay well, that's all I can type right now. My doggie is currently unwrapping presents under the tree and I must stop her. She is so bad lately. I wonder if she "knows"?

Let's talk boobs.

I love my boobs. I would even go as far as to say that my boobs are my best asset. It wasn't always that way. I was a late bloomer and still wore a training bra in 9th grade. However, in college they grew and grew. I wound up with quite a nice set of girls. 34 C/D, great cleavage, nice symmetry......



Yeah... My favorite thing to do when I was single... ahh well, lets be honest.. even up until this summer was to dress up all pretty and put the girls on display. Not obscenely but, you know, just enough to catch peoples eyes.. especially my husbands.. In fact the night we met, he stared at them all night. wink wink... My boobs caught me a husband! He even has a picture of my laying out at the beach with a cute bikini on.. Not of my face.. just my boobs. It is in cell phone. That's right.



I guess I just never expected to have them destroyed, really destroyed by 14 weeks!! They are ginormous, veiny, saggy and COVERED in stretch marks!! sniff sniff. I fear that they will never be the same.

I was fully prepared to deal with the belly stretch marks... but, the girls.. come on..... This is what I will hang over my child's head.. Not the long labor... the boobs being ruined.

R.I.P.

My boobs!



P.S. Isn't this picture funny... It was take a few years ago on New Year's Eve. When I was searching for a great picture of my boobs for this post and I came across this one!

2 questions...

1st one is for the all the computer savy peeps. Every time I click on something, whether it be a link from a google search or a "favorite" link, a different page shows up. Some kind of shopping thing. Then I click back and try again and it works. I have pretty good protection program on my computer. What the "f" is going on? Anyone know?

2nd is a call for help.

I like the crib and dresser set from Walmart and it seems a little smaller than most.. Good for me. Since we have only one bedroom the space is more than a little tight. But the only place I can find it is on Walmart.com and the dimensions for the whole set are clearly wrong. It lists the height at about 6 inches. So I have no idea if the width and length are correct.

Does anyone have the BassettBaby Cape Cod 4 in 1 convertable set? If you do I am asking for a huge favor! Can you measure it for me? I really need to know and the Walmart site doesn't have a phone number anywhere! hmph. It is also not available in stores!

Thanks people. I'm feeling a little needy tonight I guess.