Okay, So I had a heart to heart with the RE today.

And... I feel a little better.

He and I talked about the FSH. Last month was much better. Even "beautiful". tee hee.. Like me??? He says the 12 was a one time thing in May. The tens... they mean my clock is ticking. After the baby we are making right now, I need to try again right away.. Which is so weird. I only got my period at 16???? Does that mean that menopause will come earlier for me? What a short time to have your period right? Anywho.. irrelevant, I guess.

He said that the effectiveness of Clomid increases with repeated use. I will hopefully have a better response this month. He said that people usually get pregnant after a few months of use.

He also said that the IUI's usually take between 4 and 6 tries to work, if they will work. So, we are at try number 5. He still really thinks that IUI's will do it for us. But if not after two months more... IVF or injectables... but probably IVF.

He aslo said the we fall under the "unexplained infertility with a little male factor too" umbrella. He says that even though Stephen's motility has increased (counts have lowered but, are still normal) that his sperm could be swimming in every which way and not forward. So, that could be our problem. And knowing Stephen's sense of direction, wouldn't surprise me... ;) MWAH Love you, babe.

He also said that my tubes could not being grabbing my egg correctly. I have no flipping clue what that meant. Really.

I asked about vitamins, he said, not really. So, he told me just to be patient.

Yeah, right.

But, I feel a little calmer today and I am putting all my energy into scrubbing every last speck of dirt off my cars and my house. Poor Stephen, I am making him help. Happy Vacation, my love.





On a happier note.. we went fishing on a party boat last night. It was Stephen's first time on the bay!! I didn't know that he had only been on boats on lakes.. I am a terrible wife. We have lived by the water for 4 years and I never took him on the bay!

I am also a terrible wife because...... I CAUGHT 5 KEEPERS.. and he caught NONE!!!! I can't stop gloating!! He's like, "You could have let me win since it was my first time fishing in salt water." Sorry dude, I can't help it if I am awesome!

Better FSH level.

I called and got last months level.

7.6

Much Better. I will find out this months level tomorrow or Friday. I get the blood drawn Tomorrow.

Breathe...........

I'm back and I brought a friend home with me...

Not a little friend that I am happy to see. Aunt Flo found me all the way in the woods. I tried so hard to hide from her.

I am beyond devastated. And to make it worse.. so is Stephen. I hate to see him cry. I feel so bad. We both have been a mess since yesterday. I can't take this anymore.

I just want an answer. Stephen's motility has been normal the past two times... So what gives? What is our problem? We got pregnant once, a year ago, only to end badly.. Why can't we get pregnant again?

I am being haunted by those 3 FSH levels... 10, 10, 12. Less than 10 is normal. The doctor isn't too worried but, I am. I need to ask what last months was and then what is this month's when I got for the cycle day 3 workup on Thursday. Could that be our problem? I just feel the need to know. I need to know why this is so hard for us.
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So so so so sad today...... We are getting our CD3 testing done and then on Friday we will head back up to the cabin to work on the new kitchen installation.

Until then, I reserve the right to cry all week...

The worst part is.. School starts on Tuesday. Everyone left school in June saying.. "I can't wait to see you in the fall. I just know you will be pregnant." So everyone will be asking... and I will have to say, over and over, "No, I'm not pregnant, yet".

Yet. It is getting so hard to say yet. It is starting to feel like, never.

Talk to everyone next week.

We are leaving in a few hours. The doggie is so upset. She sees all the packing and keeps bringing us her toys. I wish she could understand that she is coming too!!!

I had to hang up on my mom today. She was like.. you need to not test until after you come back. Spend the weekend wondering. Yeah, Mom... I have said it before.. but, you had all 4 kids on accident. You didn't have to try for even one of them. You just don't get it. There is no way I will not test, if I am late. In fact, I will probably test tomorrow.

But, anyways.... I will be back sometime mid week. We both have off all week so when we come back really depends on if AF can find me up all the way up in the wilderness. If I get Af I will back midweek to get my Clomid script, the CD3 blood work and a sono. If not I may stay up through Labor Day so we can put a new kitchen in up there. My parents would be meeting me up there to help.

So if you don't hear from me by Wednesday.. I think you can assume it is good news... Otherwise.... Bring on Month 16... And I will uping my dose of Clomid this month to a full pill.

Have a great week!

YIPEEEE!!!

What a good news day..

Well not all good. I got a BFN.. I know, I know.. I shouldn't be testing yet. Too early. But I couldn't resist.. tee hee..

But my BFF just got promoted today and my brother just made Staff Sargent in the Air Force. (no, not the brother from my post the other day, the other brother!). I am so freaking excited for him!!!!! He took a test for it and found out today that he passed. He will get his stripes pinned on tonight at work and then will have to take them off. He gets put on a list for Staff Sargent and will get it "officially" as soon as one opens up! (Probably in a few months)

So, CONGRATS to all the people that got promotions today.

Can we get some good news our way this week???? Puh-lease.

9 Days Post IUI...

Yup. Not much to report. The girls started to hurt today. On the side. They look a little big. I am bloated and I have PMS type cramps (mild but, they are there). Also, I have had a wicked time with my IBS the past two days and I puked a little yesterday (TMI.. I know )

All very, very normal PMS type things for me (except the IBS doesn't usually kick in at all until the day before AF is due). I have a couple of things planned to get me through the day. After tomorrow... all bets are off.. I can't be responsible for my actions when it comes to peeing on a stick.

We are going away on Thursday to my families' cabin upstate. AF is due while I am there. So, I won't be able to post a BFN or BFP until I get back. Although, I am pretty sure it is a negativo again.

The doctor said 3-4 cycles of clomid. One down. 2-3 to go.

Send me some baby dust girls!!!

Rough weekend.

Some very serious family stuff going on. Please keep my brother in your prayers. He has relapsed and I am just not sure that he really wants to be sober. It is very scary. Please, pray for him.