The trials and tribulations of our journey to make a baby.

I would die for that.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

A little update.

Sorry I haven't posted in so long. Things have been nuts. But, I am feeling a bit better. I am finally on the right med and the right dosage. This one controls both the high blood pressure and my racing heart. But, then I got some weird thyroid results.

So, I this weekend, I wore a holter monitor, got a thyroid sono and some more blood work (my poor veins). Now, I have to make an appointment with an endocrinologist.

But, I am feeling much better. We even took Liam to the beach today for a nice slow two mile walk on the boardwalk. He slept through it and didn't think it was too impressive. But, we were so peaceful and happy. Dh and I held hands and relaxed the whole way.

However, 5 weeks of bedrest, high blood pressure, medication and giving birth (not to mention sleep deprivation) have turned me to mush. I am so tired from the walk and my legs are so sore. I guess I have some work to do in order to get back into shape. We bought a year long empire pass so now I can get into all the state parks this summer without paying a fee (hence, no excuse to not go out and walk!)

Liam is doing amazing. I have been blessed with the sweetest baby God ever created. He is so good. Seriously, he sleeps so much, only really cried when he's hungry, (okay sure, his little fussy time is later in the evening.. but, that's still pretty low key). Nursing is good. He is so healthy. He gained a pound in a week. He is now 7 pounds at 2 weeks old! He is filling out his clothes well. It's so funny when people tell me how small he is... I feel like he looks so much bigger than when he was born!

So, here's some pictures of the "L-man".


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Not out of the woods yet.

I spent Monday night in the ER, away from my baby, with super high blood pressures. They were talking about keeping me over night since I could have a stroke.. But, they got my pressure down, sent me home. By the next morning it was even higher. So the doctor started me on procardia, 30 mg, once a day. It worked last night but, this morning it was back up, way up, again. So, now I am taking 60 mg a day. I am so so scared. I just keeping thinking that I will die and leave my baby without a Mother. Please pray that this dosage is what it takes to get me better. I feel so sick and I am back on strict bedrest. I don't even know how to handle all this. Thank God that Stephen gets two weeks paternity leave. I don't know what I would do without him. My MIL is coming this weekend from TN and I am so glad. We have a bunch of out of town guests coming and she can do all the cooking and cleaning and entertaining while I rest on the couch or in bed.

But, seriously, I really need some prayers. The doctors are taking this very seriously. All I want to do is feel good and enjoy my sweet baby without wondering if each headache is the one that will give me a stroke.
:(......

Monday, May 18, 2009

Okay here goes!!
My 54 hours of induced labor!! It's a long post. Grab a drink and prepare for a crazy story!

As you know, I was dealing with gestational hypertension and classic signs of pre-eclampsia, although my lab work was normal. Two different docs (the first doctor I saw and the amazing doctor that I saw for the second opinion) and my midwife recommended an induction at somewhere around 37 weeks. I started taking Evening Primrose Oil to ripen my cervix. Well, 2 days before I hit that point I went to the doctor for my bi-weekly NST and BPP and all the drama began.

Monday: At the doctor my BP was really high ( I can't remember the number but, it was higher than it had ever been). They put me on the monitors and I was having painless BH contractions every 2-3 minutes. Well, at that point a call was made to my midwife. It was decided rather quickly that it wasn't safe to continue with the pregnancy any futher and that an induction would probably work tonight because of the contractions.

Soooo, off to the hospital I headed. By the time I got there my pressures were above like 155/105 and the contraction had started to hurt. Not bad though. I was laughing and talking through them. They were pretty regular and they were unable to give my cytotec to ripen my cervix because, I was having too many contractions and it would hyperstimulate me. I was only a fingertip dialated and 50% effaced. So, they decided to let me contract through the night and see what happened with those contractions.

Tuesday: I got zero sleep and I woke up to find... no change. But, I was still contracting so they started me on a low dose of pitocin. They upped it by 2 every half hour. I only got to 10, a very low dose, before the baby started have heart rate drops after some of the contractions. When they lowered it... the heart rates were okay.. but, the contractions got much less painful and spread out. We did that all day. Up and down. Up and down. I only progressed to 1 cm. because, my cervix wasn't ready for pitocin. Eventually they decided to do one last try at upping the Pit and the baby showed a bunch of "lates" (heart rate drops after the contraction). It was decided that if the baby couldn't handle these Pit contractions, he would never be able to get me to a higher level and they would never be able to induce full labor. So, they called for a c-section. I was really upset but, I was also so tired, as it was past the 24 hour point, with no food and no sleep. So I agreed, we called everyone and got ready for the section.

Well, then, the WONDERFUL Dr. who I saw for the second opinion pops in and says "No section". These "lates" are not showing up frequent enough and you need to give an early induction for a first time Mom at least 2-3 days. We were all shocked to hear the midwives calling for a section and the doc opposing it!!! After some tears and a lot of explanations and planning I agreed with him as did the rest of my "team".S o, they stopped the Pit and decided to do a Foley Balloon Catheter in my cervix. You can do this if you are 1 cm or more dialated. Basically, they use a catheter to insert a balloon through your cervix into the uterus, just below the membranes. They fill the balloon with saline fluid and hang it through your cervix. There is a string attached to it that comes out and gets taped to your leg with some tension. Once the balloon falls out, you are 4cm dialted. Then, they can rupture your membranes or start Pit. Usually, Pit is given at a very low dose with the balloon but, since my baby wasn't tolerating it at this point.. we didn't want to do that for me. I felt so excited by this glimmer of hope. But, It turns out I was only dialted to 1 cm on the outside of my cervix and not the inside. They tried to insert this balloon for about 20 minutes. and let me tell you I was seeing STARS... They had to stop. It just wouldn't go through my cervix.

So, feeling very upset they decided to get me a shower, give me a sleeping pill and see, again, what my natural contractions started doing.

Wednesday: Late in the night, they woke me to tell me that my contractions had fizzled out and they were able to now start inserting the cytotec (same kind of thing as cervidal except it has a higher chance of stimulating labor contractions along with ripening your cervix) So, they inserted and checked me in 4 hours, 3 times. By the time they finished the 3rd dose I was at 2 cms and 70% effaced and having some nice contractions again! They were then able to successfully put the balloon in and they never gave me any more Pit. In about an hour and a half the balloon fell out while I was peeing in the bathroom. I'm not gunna lie.. it was very crampy the whole time it was in. So crampy that I couldn't feel the "strong contractions" that the monitor showed I was having. I also used a bunch of homeopathic stuff that my midwife gave me. I know that one was Belladonna.. but, the other two, I can't remember. But, at the point that it fell out... I WAS 4 CMS!! Finally some progress.

This was about 6pm. They broke my water and I started hard labor right away on my own!!!!!!!!! They started off pretty intense but, I used the techinques I learned in my Bradley class to the best of my ability, being that I was strapped to monitors in bed. Most postioning and too much movement was pretty much impossible. But, I was allowed bathroom rights since I wasn't on Pit. After each bathroom trip I was allowed off the monitor for a while to stand and do some of the standing techniques that Dh and I learned. I like the dancing one the best. My midwives were amazing. I started out the first 36 hours with Susan by my side every minute. Then Dale came to relieve her for the second part. They are working with a new midwife Julie and she was in and out the whole time also. Each of them were so valuable to me for thier own techniques and personalities.
But, the hero, was my hubby. Once Hard Labor started, he was there to anticipate my every need. Bradley Classes taught him so much. He was able to take the lessons we learned and adapt them to be used in our "more medical childbirth scene" He was really amazing!

That part of labor.. NO JOKE!! I mean it was bad. I vomited the whole time. Really vomited a lot. But, in the end that hard wretching was what helped move the baby down. He was still really high up when they broke my water. I started begging for drugs during transition.. At least I thought I was begging. In my mind I was screaming like a lunatic. Of course I didn't know that I was in transition. DH and my Mom said that, in reality, I quietly asked for them like twice.. But, once you are in transition you are sooo close to the end. They wouldn't have been able to even give me an epi because, the labor was too fast at that point.

Thursday: So around Midnight, I started to push.. The midwives were like.. What are you doing?? They didn't believe it was time yet. They all thought it would take me so long to get to that point since it took me two days to progress 1 cm. I honestly couldn't control the urge to push. I wasn't even trying. My body was just doing it and I couldn't stop it. They told me to try to go to the bathroom. I told them I couldn't because I would have the baby in the toilet. LOL Clearly, they did not believe it was time to push. So, I went to the bathroom with my midwife and when she saw how hard I was pushing.. she believed me. I was fully dialated and was allowed to push.

It took almost 2 hours. He was still really high up. Everyone was convinced he had the cord wrapped around something. At one point he got stuck with his head halfway out for a long time.. OMG, OUCH!! It was awful. I was begging for an episotomy and they were discussing actually giving it to me. He was stuck for a long time. I had no energy left to push. But, With some "not so gentle" encouragement, I pushed through it and I got to meet my baby.

Turns out he had a super duper short cord. They couldn't even place him on my chest! So that's why he was so high up and that's why he took so long to push out!

1:26 am I delivered my beautiful son!!! Liam Thomas. No epidural!!!! He is a teeny tiny peanut. 5 lbs. 15 oz and 19 inches long. But, he is honestly the most beautiful thing I have ever set eyes on!

Disclaimer: For someone who wanted a water birth.. and induction was so upsetting to me. I knew it was for the best for me and the baby but, I was scared to death of the Pit and really sad to give up my dream for natural childbirth. I can only thank God that baby didn't tolerate it and that my wonderful Midwives and the Dr. found other ways to induce my labor.

Okay.. now that it's all typed out.. I'm off to stare at my son.

I'm still not feeling so good. My pressure is still up and I am really just not feeling that great. I am still at risk for eclampsia which, after delivery can come on pretty quickly. So, I need to listen to my body and take it really easy.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!!

Liam Thomas was born at 1:26 on May 14th.

He is 5 pounds and 15.9 ounces and 19 inches long. He's a peanut but, pretty good for three weeks early.

I have never, in my whole life, been so in love.

It was an induction.. It took 54 hours.. BUT... NO EPIDURAL!! I am bragging about that forever!!! I will post the full birth story soon. It is really long and complicated. But, the end result is this.....




And it was worth every second!
Here is a video that my Sister-in-law made for us. I have to learn how to do that and make a cute montage of the photos that we have so far!
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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I moved to the last baby on my pregnancy timeline counter!!

WOW! It's coming folks.

Well, I thought I had this whole blood pressure situation licked. I had such beautiful pressures for 3 days straight. I marched into that nasty doctor's office ready to fight with him... And.... My blood pressure when I got to the office was through the roof. The doctor wasn't even there and the nurses laughed at me when I told them I didn't want to be induced.

So, I went back to bed and had my pressure back down in a few short hours. So back to bed rest for me. My midwife is going to come to the appointment with Dh and I for the second opinion tomorrow.. Did I mention that I love her??? She knows the doctor and really wants to hear what he has to say first hand. She did tell me that I am giving her grey hairs!LOL Honestly, though, this pre-eclampsia stuff is starting to scare me and maybe I am thinking an induction next week isn't the worst thing. I just keep hearing horror stories about people being like me, high pressures, no protein in the urine.. blah blah.. then a massive seizure and a month in a coma. Now, I know that's not the norm, but, Damn!! That's nuts!

The baby continues to look great. I think the sono tech slipped up and told me the sex. I am trying not to think about it and Dh doesn't want to know. I am just pissed that I am pretty sure she ruined the surprise for me. Keep your mouth shut lady!! But I guess with two sonos a week, someone was bound to screw it up! I made it so far without knowing and now I think I know. I don't care either way of course.. but, I REALLY wanted that surprise!

Other than that... Everything is set up, packed, installed, put together, etc. I am sorry that I haven't been keeping up with other blogs lately. I only come on a few times a week to read things and get my butt back to bed. I wish I had a laptop! Bt, I have been reading for the most part. Thanks for the well wishes and positive thoughts and prayers. They are much appreciated. :)

Saturday, May 2, 2009

ahhh craziness!

I went to see the Maternal Fetal Specialist yesterday. I felt like he looked at my chart and just prescribed the same thing for me that he does for everyone.

For the record:
- I do not have pre-eclampsia, yet. I realize that is a big "yet". If I develop it officially, my whole opinon of this changes.
- My pressures are up and down. Each time they spike, they get a bit higher. Most of the time they are lower.
- I have no protein in my urine.
- I have had headaches. But, are they ALL related to the pressure or are some related to my wicked bad allergies?
- My swelling is almost gone. Yes, sometimes when my pressure spikes, my face gets a bit puffy as do my hands and feet.
- According to the testing done, my baby is FINE, GREAT size, functioning so well. The placenta and cord are perfect.

So here's his plan: Follow me very closely with twice weekly bloodwork and biophyical's and non-stress tests, daily urine testing, twice daily pressure checks and Induce at 37 weeks. I'm a little puzzled. Why wouldn't it be, do all that tracking and get me to 37 weeks.. then take it day by day and see if I need to be induced?? Because, I don't have pre-eclampsia yet. I'm a first time Mom and an induction that early has a high rate of failure.. and the baby is doing fantastic! So, why end the pregnancy early if there are no signs that the pregnancy is affected by these pressure fluctuations. IF things start to change.. then, of course induce.

So, that being said. I am going for a second opinion. The practice I saw is very aggressive and I don't feel that my care was looked at on a personal level. I feel like they stuck me into a mold that my case doesn't fit into. If the second doctor agrees.. Induction it is. I won't fight it.

So, for now, my midwife has me taking evening primrose to ripen my cervix and we are going to discuss some herbs on Tuesday. Stephen and I started the perineal massage last night.. TMI, I know. And we are assembling the stroller and installing the car seat this weekend. It may be baby time very soon.