The trials and tribulations of our journey to make a baby.

I would die for that.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I'm back and I brought a friend home with me...

Not a little friend that I am happy to see. Aunt Flo found me all the way in the woods. I tried so hard to hide from her.

I am beyond devastated. And to make it worse.. so is Stephen. I hate to see him cry. I feel so bad. We both have been a mess since yesterday. I can't take this anymore.

I just want an answer. Stephen's motility has been normal the past two times... So what gives? What is our problem? We got pregnant once, a year ago, only to end badly.. Why can't we get pregnant again?

I am being haunted by those 3 FSH levels... 10, 10, 12. Less than 10 is normal. The doctor isn't too worried but, I am. I need to ask what last months was and then what is this month's when I got for the cycle day 3 workup on Thursday. Could that be our problem? I just feel the need to know. I need to know why this is so hard for us.

So so so so sad today...... We are getting our CD3 testing done and then on Friday we will head back up to the cabin to work on the new kitchen installation.

Until then, I reserve the right to cry all week...

The worst part is.. School starts on Tuesday. Everyone left school in June saying.. "I can't wait to see you in the fall. I just know you will be pregnant." So everyone will be asking... and I will have to say, over and over, "No, I'm not pregnant, yet".

Yet. It is getting so hard to say yet. It is starting to feel like, never.


alicia said...

I am so sorry AF came! I hate her! Go ahead and cry all week, or how ever long you need to. One of the huge down sides of telling people you are going through IF treatments is the constant, "So any news yet?" Just tell them you will let them know when you haev news to share!


Anonymous said...

Trish, I'm so sorry that AF arrived... it does get harder and harder to tell people that nope not this time or nope not yet... it is heart breaking! Tell them to back off and that you will advise when there is news - tell them that them continually asking is putting more pressure on you...

Cry all you need to hon! Tears are healing...

HUGS to you!