I'm back and I brought a friend home with me...

Not a little friend that I am happy to see. Aunt Flo found me all the way in the woods. I tried so hard to hide from her.

I am beyond devastated. And to make it worse.. so is Stephen. I hate to see him cry. I feel so bad. We both have been a mess since yesterday. I can't take this anymore.

I just want an answer. Stephen's motility has been normal the past two times... So what gives? What is our problem? We got pregnant once, a year ago, only to end badly.. Why can't we get pregnant again?

I am being haunted by those 3 FSH levels... 10, 10, 12. Less than 10 is normal. The doctor isn't too worried but, I am. I need to ask what last months was and then what is this month's when I got for the cycle day 3 workup on Thursday. Could that be our problem? I just feel the need to know. I need to know why this is so hard for us.
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So so so so sad today...... We are getting our CD3 testing done and then on Friday we will head back up to the cabin to work on the new kitchen installation.

Until then, I reserve the right to cry all week...

The worst part is.. School starts on Tuesday. Everyone left school in June saying.. "I can't wait to see you in the fall. I just know you will be pregnant." So everyone will be asking... and I will have to say, over and over, "No, I'm not pregnant, yet".

Yet. It is getting so hard to say yet. It is starting to feel like, never.