So my Dh, my Mom and my youngest Brother and I, went to TGIFriday's last night to eat some fatty foods and watch me drown my sorrows in my favorite drink of all time, THE LONG ISLAND ICED TEA.
But, of course the waiter, sat us right in between a pregnant lady and little baby. Really.. In all of the restaurant.. really? But, my family came the rescue because, soon after I sat down my Mom pointed out to my brother that the girl behind us had "beautiful tits". I kid you not. I almost spit out my drink.. don't worry.. I said almost. (hee hee). So my brother spent the rest of the night rating the breasts of the girls who who innocently eating thier dinners. Little did they know my brother was demeaning them for my enjoyment. Yes, I am sick and premenstrual. ;)
Also, may I pause to say... Who is this lady that replaced my prude and proper mother? She never talked like that when I was young. But, with my youngest brother, it is like all rules went out the window. Almost as if, after 6 kids, she was like, ah hell, fuck it. She also told me that at work, she used to be a labor and delivery nurse (now she is assistant dean of a nursing school and finishing her doctorate.. yeah, I'm bragging), they used to sometimes talk about the boobs of the poor nursing mothers if they were particularly nice. Again, who is this woman??? They also sang the camel toe song at work! I almost died. It is is like she was living a fake life at home and was really a dirty bird at work!!! LMAO.. I love it!!!!!
So, in summary.
1) I got very drunk. (much to the dismay of the woman I had to call at Continental Airlines to find out what state my brother was spending the night in since he shut off his phone.. LOL.
2) My brother rated boobs all night.
3) My Mom is really a secret dirty bird.
4) I feel much better today.