Wow. Why can't I just be a little positive? I am Miss Negative Nancy. I don't think I have a chance in hell in this cycle working and I am only 3dpIUI. I have a long road ahead of me. I spent all of Saturday sobbing. Not crying. Sobbing.
I fought with my sister, my mom and my DH. I was crazed. I am so tired of all of this and I don't think I am cut out for IF. I just don't think I have the fight in me. I have had a lot of really good fights, my childhood being one of them. Then this crazy year (grandpa dying, money sucks, my brother is recovering from drug addiction, my miscarriage and on and on). I just don't have anything left to give. I really don't.
And people are stupid. I was at lunch telling a story about how I was going to go out Friday, even though I felt crummy (from my IUI mind you) and when I saw how crowded the bar was, we left. I never once mentioned IF or pregnancy. Well, everyone was like, "why did you feel bad? Are you dizzy? Do you have a sense of smell that is increased?" They were all giggly. I kept saying "no, no, no" and they kept pushing. So I finally yelled, " I AM NOT PREGNANT! I am only three days since my IUI!" They all got quiet and looked at me. What they were saying wasn't cute and I tried to change the subject but they kept pushing.
So there you have it. I am psycho and everyone knows it.
1 week ago