The trials and tribulations of our journey to make a baby.

I would die for that.

Friday, September 26, 2008


I just went onto Lost and Found.. and it said my name under pregnancy announcements! I double blinked.. really. Is that what the two lines mean? I haven't really been able to say that word yet, pregnant. Forgive me, the rest of this is just rambling.

Our first beta is tomorrow. I can't wait to see the actual number. I feel good about this pregnancy. It feels VERY different than the last one. And I guess I want it to. Last time I had sharp, stabbing pains from the first day. And I didn't make it to 6 weeks. This time, dull AF like cramps. Not strong and not often. I am thirsty and my boobs hurt. That's it. That is just fine with me right now.

I walked by a maternity store today and I looked away really fast. I passed the IKEA baby room section and I did let myself linger for a second. Just a second. I have to protect my heart. But each passing second is making that harder and harder. I also almost poured myself a glass of wine before I remembered.. no wine. That was weird. It kind of just stopped me for a minute.

I guess I want to take a moment to acknowledge all the people who have read this blog and given me support when they don't even know me. I can't tell you what that has meant to me. I have very few people in my life who I can talk to about how I really feel or who just understand what infertility does to you. THANK YOU for being that for me. I really appreciate it.

next update: the beta numbers.


nancy said...

Yay!! I somehow missed this yesterday. You are pregnant! And by the looks of how damned dark that test line is, you are going to have a great beta.



Amy said...

I am just so thrilled for you, I am sure you are mixed with emotions but it really sounds like you are really feeling 'good' and that is so exciting!

Delenn said...

Good luck on the beta tomorrow!

kirke said...

Oh congratulations! I saw the pregnancy announcement on L&F and wanted to stop by. I needed a success story and your story really did the trick!

Very excited for you!

Jendeis said...

So happy for you! Can't wait to hear all about the betas.

Heather.PNR said...

Congratulations! I hope it only becomes more and more real.